SHACK

Have you ever read the book "The Shack"? If you haven't I highly encourage you to do. I say that because if you understand what the book is about you realize we all have a shack in life. We all face the demon inside that keeps us from being the best we can be. This week I have heard from so many people that have those inward stones blocking their escape which leaves them feeling like they are stuck in the valley for life. Let's see if we can discover our shack together and possibly move out and face life again in a new vibrant honest way. 

Was it the promotion that got it all started or simply the desire to explore her faith an spirituality in new ways. Whether it was one or the other or neither, something created the divide that stifled the enthusiasm for change. Now the bitter reality left her with the question of, do I stay or do I go. If I stay and not accept the promotion will I have regrets for life. If I stay in the faith and spiritual realm I currently find myself will I be missing out where God truly is in my life. Is my life not even in my own control? MY SHACK! 

I spoke to a man a few weeks ago that was going through a real bad life situation. He was blaming no one he just wasn't sure how to pull out of the rut this life circumstance had created. Well (or not so well) intentioned friends were kind enough to use the worn out phrase, "I know what I would do if it were me". This was of no help to him, matter of fact it created pressure that almost drove him to actions he would have dearly regretted. His valley grew deeper and wider by friends offering sage advice but NO HELP. 

She thought they were in love, well she knew she was anyway. She wondered why she could not make him love her as much as she loved him. In her own words he constantly put her down and told her how bad she was because of her past. She felt used because her love for him keep her giving much more than she was receiving. This cast a pall on her self esteem to the point she started losing friends and relationships due to being withdrawn. He had her where he wanted her yet in her heart she desired to be loved. Her shack is all too common yet few understand it. 

He was bullied in school, teased and abused. He was different. Why being different gave others permission to treat him in such horrible ways no one will ever know. Few if any knew the pain he was dealing with because in his subtle attempts to open up he was always called out as weak. Have thick skin, they would say, just grow up, GET OVER IT, put your big boy panties on. The suicide (true story) came as a shock to the community and family. There shack now is seeing the warning signs and not reaching out to help. The help he needed was not the macho advice he got. What he needed was someone that understood and knew how to help. He needed to be loved, understood, and accepted.  What is left now is shattered dreams of a family that wished they had done more. 

What is your rut or valley? What is keeping you in a bad relationship for years and years. Why do you settle for being less than you were created to be. We do all we can to explain to ourselves our own lack of action. We martyr ourselves in the hope we justify being paralyzed in life. This inactivity stifles our faith in God in ways we cannot imagine. I hear all the time people say they live their lives for their family. My kids are EVERYTHING. Not true folks. You and only you are everything. The only heart that beats in your body is yours. You can have deep feelings for family and friends but only you are everything to you. If you don't believe me consider how much you would have if your heart stopped beating. 

At the end of the day the only person that resides inside you is you. There is no other soul, brain, heart, or lungs beating, breathing, or thinking inside you. You are all you have. God only gave us one body in the hopes we would do our best to love, cherish and honor it. We can allow others to influence and teach us things which is good but just remember as an adult you are responsible for using your talents to move out of the valleys life has created. Yes it takes the help of others to throw the rope but it takes the action of you to reach out and grab it.

The Shack offers a powerful message of hope when times are almost to tough to keep going. I know many of you are facing those times right now. The road ahead will not be easier because you read the book or this reflection. The only way the road ahead will ever get smoother is when you decide to love the person that inhabits your body. 

If I could recommend a couple more books that I love and think they help make sense of life. One is The Greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino, the other is Faith and other Flat Tires by my friend Andrea Palpant Dilley. 

Start by putting positive messages in your mind. That alone will begin to manifest a different view of life. Let's work slow to rebuild the confidence that the erosion of life has taken away. Together we can fill in the ruts that are so deep you can't see the light of day. Please whatever you do, do not give up on you. If all you have is you, trust me you have enough. Regardless of what you did yesterday there is still reason to dream of tomorrow. I dug my own rut in life just like you did, however to get out we have to tie ropes to each other and use sweat, muscle, and determination. The mud will quickly turn to sun and with that the light of hope will transform our lives into something amazing. 

peace to you

Dale