Evaluation and Judgement
Here is a question I got yesterday.
What are your thoughts on the difference between evaluation and judgement? Ex. we all evaluate people when we first meet them to determine commonality. Why does that process sometimes slide into judgement? Also, in your opinion, why do people sometimes turn on the ones who help them the most? These things baffle me even though I kind of understand the reasons for why they occur. I would like to hear your take. Thanks. Brad
Life is a series of learned experiences and we pull on that experience whether we know it or not in every encounter we have. In our human attempt to evaluate, you are correct that we look for commonality. We are comforted by people that think and act in accordance with the way we think they should.
Judgement is an interesting human action. The fact is most people judge others in a manner that they themselves would not want to be measured by. We judge people in such a way that overshadows our own shortcomings.
We can't help but evaluate people because our built-in radar automatically gives us warnings or warm fuzzies. If we are a person whose glass is always close to empty, then our evaluation turns to condemnation in a quick fashion. In contrast, if we have grown comfortable in our own skin, then we will be more likely to give someone a favorable evaluation. Think about this, if we pass harsh judgement on someone and they then make a miscue in life, we have reserved the right to say "TOLD YOU SO". If, however, the person turns out to be a good person, then we can always warm up, yet still be guarded so we can tell others how we feel even though we do not know.
The second part of your question is one I find rather interesting; "why do people turn on those that try to help them"?
We tend to place life in a series of boxes. We have this unique ability to compartmentalize and rationalize most or all of our behaviors. I remember studying a strange phenomenon that occurred in the concentration camps back in WWII. The German guards would enlist the help of prisoners to assist them in guarding the very ones they were imprisoned with. As weird as this seems, the prisoners once given some power quickly turned on the people they were in prison with. Power and control can do amazing things to the human physche. As can the loss of power and control. This was proven with those concentration camp guards.
When people need help, they are willing to sacrifice pride and pleasure to get it. Once they are back on their feet, they slowly begin to rationalize a way out. In that search, they may start looking for the faults of the person who was helping them. This creates the compartmentalization of their behavior as they migrate back to the exact life that led them to needing the help to start with.
I wish I knew why our human minds are designed to tear others down while trying to elevate ourselves back up the social ladder. In my opinion, two people cannot share the same ladder; for one to climb up, another must fall down. I do however believe that we can change this cycle if we are willing to be the first to do so.
I do believe that this vicious circle of turning on the ones you are trying to help in the end will leave you poverty stricken in the way of friends. We have to be of genuine character. We have to accept that we will make mistakes, as will the ones we love and trust the most. It is in those mistakes that we learn to grow and prosper. The chain of turning on those that help us can be broken by making sure we do not exhibit that same behavior. I stand by, as I always will, that love, forgiveness, and acceptance are the attributes that can lead us to happiness and prosperity.
I hope this is a good answer and certainly I welcome feedback.
peace to you
Dale
..
What are your thoughts on the difference between evaluation and judgement? Ex. we all evaluate people when we first meet them to determine commonality. Why does that process sometimes slide into judgement? Also, in your opinion, why do people sometimes turn on the ones who help them the most? These things baffle me even though I kind of understand the reasons for why they occur. I would like to hear your take. Thanks. Brad
Life is a series of learned experiences and we pull on that experience whether we know it or not in every encounter we have. In our human attempt to evaluate, you are correct that we look for commonality. We are comforted by people that think and act in accordance with the way we think they should.
Judgement is an interesting human action. The fact is most people judge others in a manner that they themselves would not want to be measured by. We judge people in such a way that overshadows our own shortcomings.
We can't help but evaluate people because our built-in radar automatically gives us warnings or warm fuzzies. If we are a person whose glass is always close to empty, then our evaluation turns to condemnation in a quick fashion. In contrast, if we have grown comfortable in our own skin, then we will be more likely to give someone a favorable evaluation. Think about this, if we pass harsh judgement on someone and they then make a miscue in life, we have reserved the right to say "TOLD YOU SO". If, however, the person turns out to be a good person, then we can always warm up, yet still be guarded so we can tell others how we feel even though we do not know.
The second part of your question is one I find rather interesting; "why do people turn on those that try to help them"?
We tend to place life in a series of boxes. We have this unique ability to compartmentalize and rationalize most or all of our behaviors. I remember studying a strange phenomenon that occurred in the concentration camps back in WWII. The German guards would enlist the help of prisoners to assist them in guarding the very ones they were imprisoned with. As weird as this seems, the prisoners once given some power quickly turned on the people they were in prison with. Power and control can do amazing things to the human physche. As can the loss of power and control. This was proven with those concentration camp guards.
When people need help, they are willing to sacrifice pride and pleasure to get it. Once they are back on their feet, they slowly begin to rationalize a way out. In that search, they may start looking for the faults of the person who was helping them. This creates the compartmentalization of their behavior as they migrate back to the exact life that led them to needing the help to start with.
I wish I knew why our human minds are designed to tear others down while trying to elevate ourselves back up the social ladder. In my opinion, two people cannot share the same ladder; for one to climb up, another must fall down. I do however believe that we can change this cycle if we are willing to be the first to do so.
I do believe that this vicious circle of turning on the ones you are trying to help in the end will leave you poverty stricken in the way of friends. We have to be of genuine character. We have to accept that we will make mistakes, as will the ones we love and trust the most. It is in those mistakes that we learn to grow and prosper. The chain of turning on those that help us can be broken by making sure we do not exhibit that same behavior. I stand by, as I always will, that love, forgiveness, and acceptance are the attributes that can lead us to happiness and prosperity.
I hope this is a good answer and certainly I welcome feedback.
peace to you
Dale
..
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