Is Happiness A Choice

I decided this morning to ask myself a serious question. For years I have enjoyed writing this blog and asking others probing life questions all the while coming up with interesting philosophical answers to life's most interesting questions myself. But I rarely stop long enough to ask myself if I believe all the things I write. While sitting here giving thought to what I was going to write this blog about something ran across my mind that stopped me dead in my tracks. The question may sound simple but it is the key to life. This question will have different answers for everyone but there will also be some common generalities. The question is this, what in life really makes us happy? 

We take trips that gives us moments of joy and a lifetime of memories but it does not sustain happiness. 

We find relationships that seem perfect for a few days or months only to lose it's steam because it was built on everything but what makes us happy. (sound familiar)

We make money to buy us things, we use the things to isolate us from everyone, during the isolation we learn to be greedy, in our moments of greed we learn to be bitter, in our moments of bitterness we learn to be cynical, during our times of being cynical we become depressed, once we become depressed we finally realize that money did not buy us happiness.

We find a religion that increases our faith yet the more we understand the humanity of that religion we lose our faith and in that loss we lose the little bit of happiness we thought we had. 

We gain friendships that we place our trust in, yet that trust gets broken, and in that broken trust we learn to close ourselves off in order to protect our heart, in the protection of our heart we build up walls, and within those walls we lose the happiness we thought we were protecting. 

In our quest to find our true self we instead become who others think we should be which means the real person we were born to be never got a chance to rise up, which in turn means we lose what happiness we had because we never got to become who we are. 

So the question still remains, what makes us happy?

It is obvious that I can write list about our pursuit of happiness only to see it come up short time and time again. In the making of the list I realized that there is a formula for finding happiness in life. Here is what I found. 

Life is about our own humanity. We are as imperfect as the people we expect to be perfect. We break hearts as much as ours gets broken. We break the bond of trust as much as others break their bond with us. We are simply human. Does that mean with that humanity that happiness is a hopeless case? No, it means just the opposite. Once we realize that we are not without fault ourselves we should stop trying to expect the world around us to be without fault. Happiness is truly a choice because viewing the world and the people in it with a fresh set of lenses will create a joy that wasn't there before and in that joy shards of happiness will begin to spring out. 

In your search for meaning it is important to focus on forgiving yourself for being less than perfect, once you have accepted that forgiveness begin to forgive others for they too are less than perfect. As much as you have been disappointed by the actions of others you have also been the source of disappointment. You can't change that which has happened but in a true search for happiness you can change what will happen. 

Happiness is found in a giving heart. Peace is found in a forgiving heart. The old cliche "positive in produces positive out" is certainly true when it comes to our quest for happiness. Fill your mind and time with that which makes you feel good. Be passionate about your search for peace and love because in that search happiness will permeate your mind and soul in ways you never knew possible. 

Accept others for who they are, not who you want them to be. Accept yourself for who you are and not who others expect you to be. Never under any circumstance spread hate or bigotry, instead spread smiles and warmth. Happiness is a choice we have to make on an hourly basis. All day everyday life will throw things at you that you use to see as obstacles but now that you see them as opportunities you will find happiness in places you never expected to before. 

In order to have great friends you first must be a great friend. In order to find trust you must be trustworthy. In order to find peace and joy you must imbue peace and joy. In order to release your true self you must release others. Happiness is a choice. In an effort to seek what is good you must learn to view the world as good. In order to forgive you must accept forgiveness. 

Is happiness a choice? Yes it indeed is and it is a simple choice. Life will constantly knock us down but once we learn how to get up we will learn that being down was simply a lesson in love and a gateway to finding the real joy that life has to offer. Never stop in your search for self and never slow in your pursuit of true happiness. Remember this as I close this blog. In the words of the late great Zig Ziglar "to get what you want out of life you first have to help enough others get what they want".  How true that statement is, true happiness is about serving in unselfish ways. Go out and seek the happiness that has been waiting a lifetime for you.

peace and love

Dale