Abstract Heart or Esoteric Dreams

If you haven't ever seen the art of Twombly I highly encourage you to do so. To many that do not understand the depth of fine art, his work is nothing more than scribbles or what seems to be a novice tripping over colors and shapes. Without a doubt though his work is very esoteric with meaning that may only be understood by the artist himself. Regardless, when I look at the beauty of his art it makes me realize that, not only is it okay, it is important that we appreciate and utilize the abstract areas of our lives. 

Over the years I have written many blogs that have left people wondering if I was crazy or simply had no idea what I was talking about. Admittedly, the first few years of my blogs were rather basic attempts at sharing religious thoughts that I hoped others would enjoy reading. As I matured in my own skin I begin to open my soul to the possibility that my words held more depth than the superficial lines my early writings depicted. Over the last two years I have totally let go and allowed my God given curiosity to dive far beneath the surface to see where the meaning of life resides. Call it esoteric abstract or absolutely bizarre, either works, but it goes to show how awesome our minds, dreams, and hopes can carry us once we give permission to our heart to just go for it. 

Every direction she turned her life was crumbling before her eyes. Just when she would get one plate spinning on it's axis, another would start to wobble. Her daily routine was fraught with catching the plates before they fell and shattered. At first they would just shake like a vehicle that needed an alignment, but over time each plate was spinning so slow she could no longer rush from here to there to make sure all was well. 

Her life was so beautiful to the naked eye, gorgeous in every aspect. It reminded me of my early writings that were so superficial that to the uninformed reader it was a mosaic, yet to me it was eerily fake. The adrenaline to  get from one place to the next while holding all the tales together produced a rush that can only be described by the analogy of a drug addict searching for the next amazing high. To her credit, she fed off the energy and excitement of keeping all the plates spinning and thinking that every person she came in contact with never noticed what was really happening. 

Day after day the requiem of her life slowly closed in almost without her knowledge or consent. Now the people that were blinded by the light were witnessing the dark side of her soul. The life in her eyes had grown cold, and barren, her heart so confused that she no longer felt the caress of emotions that God placed in all of us from birth. The outside world was now in on her secret, yet she was oblivious to person that others saw. 

As my writings matured, especially the last 18 months, I developed a need to explore and expose the abstract thoughts that guided my heart. What others saw was the pseudo self we all become. The old saying "what you see is what you get" is totally false. No one, sees the real me (you) except, well, me. That bucket holds water for awhile until others begin to see through the facade we build. Little by little we erode in the eyes of others. Our meaning of life is so shallow that we simply blend in instead of stand out. We become the cookie cutter print available at any discount store. We, are just like, everyone else. Lost souls wandering aimlessly through the streets of life with no particular place to go. No dreams, no hopes, no tomorrows, just living the lies of today, forgetting the AWESOME self God created us to be. 

The lies reached a summit when she no longer had the ability to see the ground below. Her life was guided by those that were so narcissistic that they helped her spin the illusion that everyone else was wrong yet they were right. Slowly but surely the water that cascaded down the mountain wore a path so deep that she finally fell into her own pit and washed herself all the way to the valley below. No longer did the pigs that drug her through the mud stand with her, they now stood above her like some proud, told you so, bully that had gotten all the use out of it's prey.

At the bottom when we are face down in the murky waters of doubt, hope seems to find a way to sprout. The friends that loved you from the beginning rally to love you today. It isn't the judgmental beast that you think will come along and step on your torn down house, it is the people just like you and I that will wrap those loving arms around you and take you to higher ground. What we find at the lowest point in life is a field of flowers waiting to restore beautiful color to your life. The one's that beat you down no longer have control because the power of love has more strength than any force on earth. Our humanity is fragile as it is also holds in it the basic tenet that all people fall from time to time. In that fall though is greatest rise we will ever encounter. You will never be measured by the actions of your slide, it will be the love you accept and the love that you share that will shape your life from this day forward.

That story has meaning more than most will know, yet it holds some inherent truths to all of our lives. Each of us has had the dark place in our life that others saw yet we thought was a secret. It goes to show the depth of love that humans are capable of. We think the world around us is a terrible place yet all we all want is the opportunity to make a positive impact. We all fear the slide down the mountain due to the actions we created. What we find at the bottom though isn't a cesspool of scum, it is a muddy field loaded with people that desire to elevate your feet on higher ground. Yes love conquers all, darkness can never push out light, yet light can illumine the darkest hole in our hearts. It's never too late restore your heart to the warmth God placed in it. Hopes and dreams are ready to blossom. Remember you have survived 100% of your worst days, which means, with the help of those that care, your best days are still waiting to be lived.

God bless

Dale