Sherry's ride of Lifetime

The Amtrak had just pulled out of Winslow AZ in route to Gallup NM. The scenery through the Mojave Desert was breathtaking. It is as if the element of time had missed this part of the country entirely. Peering out the window on the left side of the train she (Sherry) noticed jagged rock formations, sparse vegetation, and odd shapes of cactus adorning the landscape. I'm sure there were critters roaming around the sand and tumbleweed but from her vantage point they did not exist.

My friend Sherry had flown to Phoenix to have a couple days to find who she was. To say she was lost without hope would be a poor choice of words. For years she had waged emotional war on herself, trying to be a mother, wife, friend, and lover. For some odd reason she never could live up to her own expectations. This daily grind would cause her anger to rise to a fever pitch and eventually erupt like a pissed off volcano. She was never good enough and always lived in fear that her hot head would rear it's ugly self at the most inopportune time.

Sherry's biggest critic was herself. This personality trait had haunted her since early childhood. Yes, there were early environmental conditions that lead to her feelings of inadequacy. Beings she had no means of escape she relied heavily on her coping and survival skills. She, like many, in similar situations, went through a rebellious phase in her young adult years. Realizing that this wasn't going to help her reach her potential, she decided to SETTLE down. Hence the word SETTLE. Placing her dreams on the back burner and shelving all the crazy things she wanted to do, she put the lid on her bucket list of life and conformed to what society demanded. Yes Sherry SETTLED.

Sherry married a good man and together they started a family. Life was on cruise control, so it seemed, except for the steam welling up in the belly of the volcano. As a stay at home wife, the demands for time were endless. From meals, to house cleaning, school projects, sports, etc. All seemed mind numbing to her because it carried with it little to no adult interaction. With all her might she fought the demons that were pressing hard to escape. Every now and then one would push through the skin and cause her to lash out in an embarrassing scene. Month by month, year by year Sherry fell deeper into the pit of darkness with little to no hope of ever escaping. The girl she dreamed of becoming was now a nightmare of depressed anger traveling on a train bound for nowhere.

The years had past by, the passion and zest for life long gone. When Sherry could face herself in the mirror, what she saw was a woman mad at the world and all that it offered. I (she thought) failed at everything. Why try any longer, she would fight the urges of anger only to succumb to them. Her last ditch effort to find herself was what she called the last ride of life. Her flight to Phoenix and her train ride home, what ever home meant.

About an hour into the ride between Winslow and Gallup Sherry decided to have a drink and sit in the observation car. Allowing her mind to just be still while taking in the awesome views of nature. Knowing that this escape from reality would soon be over she found herself becoming angry and sad at the same time. Oblivious to her, the gentleman sit down in the seat beside her. He remarked "isn't this a gorgeous ride". Feeling the volcano heating up Sherry acknowledged him yet making it clear not to pursue the conversation.

Taking the hint the man opened up a book and started to read. Why, Sherry noticed, and even bigger why, is that she even spoke. She told the man that she too was reading that book and found it interesting. The man, not pushing his luck, agreed the book was opening his eyes to the possibilities of life and hope that he no longer believed existed. He shared his story of childhood trauma and his failures in adulthood. But he also shared his amazing transformation and rediscovery of self. The book, he said, was one of many recommended by a friend. This friend, he said, threw him a life preserver just when he felt as though he were drowning from all of the internal problems he faced. He shared how this friend changed the way he saw his life and in turn he slowly began the journey of hope. This stranger was throwing the life preserver to Sherry and to her amazement she grabbed it.

The brief stop in Gallup came and went as did a few more midwestern towns. A conversation with a total stranger was opening Sherry's heart, mind, and soul to a life and dream she had buried years ago. For once she felt as though her life mattered. Maybe, just maybe she had it wrong. Maybe she could dream again, live again, have a purpose, a passion, a reason for being. Maybe she could breath life back into the woman that died inside oh so long ago. Maybe she wasn't a bad person after all, maybe the fire inside could burn again.

The strange gentleman convinced Sherry that her life mattered, that her best days were ahead, and that no matter what had happened in the past that she was no longer a prisoner to it. She was to emerge as a victor in the war waging inside. She was going to feed the positive and starve the negative. She was going to live.

I wish I had time to share the complete story of Sherry. If you could see her now you would be able to see an amazing transformation guided with the hand of the creator with a love no human could imagine. Sherry has a genuine smile on her face, the days of depressed anger are long gone. She no longer lives in the depths of despair, she now works daily to climb the mountain of life so as to see and feel the wind and light. The train ride to nowhere was actually the train ride home. The rediscovery of life begin somewhere between Winslow and Gallup. Let this short story be your hope, allow yourself to believe again that you are endowed with the seeds of greatness, your life has purpose, you are important, and yes you are unique and wonderful just as you are right here right now. All aboard, the train will be leaving soon. Sit your baggage down, relax, and enjoy the view. It's time to live.

Peace love and HOPE
Dale