Safe Places
I think it's true God does use broken people like you and me to rescue broken people like you and me. I am sitting here thinking about sharing something that will support that statement. Now that a few years have past and with the permission of the one's involved I felt it was time to share some real life human emotions that many can relate too. Obviously the names will be different to protect the identity of the group.
The idea was to bring together a group of people that would be willing to open up in total honesty, knowing the environment was safe, and share their raw emotions about life, love, sorrow, faith, or anything they felt was holding them back. Maybe not so much holding them back as much as keeping them from being their true authentic self.
Terri got the ball rolling. In our first meeting we just chatted about life and how important it is to have safe places to share real circumstances. At our second gathering Terri took the leap of faith. She opened up about her 12 year marriage, her career, as well as her 9 year old daughter's love for soccer. She said she had the all american life, with one exception. For the last 2 years she had been involved in an affair with a man that was a close friend of the family. He too was married and his wife was one of her friends. Needless to say without me writing much more you can understand her pain. We just sit and listened as Terri closed her eyes and allowed her story to unfold.
It was obvious as Terri led us on her journey that Pete was moved by her honesty. There was no doubt just getting this out was liberating for her so he made the difficult decision to share his heart wrenching life journey. Pete has a wonderful career and he great reputation in the community. His involvement in city projects helped bring people together in loving ways. As he started the conversation tears begin to roll down his cheeks. He said that all he wanted was to be true to himself and to everyone around him. I'll admit my curiosity was high as to what could be such a heavy burden on this special man. He told us about the car accident 4 years back and how it messed up his hip, back, and right shoulder. After 18 months of therapy, two surgeries, and a pain specialist he finally felt like hope was being restored. Everything was heading in a good direction until he tripped and fell down a couple steps in his house. His right arm, instinctively, tried to shield the fall, but when he landed he knew that his shoulder was damaged again. The trip to ER was basically useless yet life changing. The ER doctor gave him a 7 day prescription of pain medication. Beings the pain was excruciating Pete decided to take higher doses. To his amazement IT WORKED. The problem was that before long he was out and desired more. A couple of close friends had unused pain medication and they unknowingly offered to help. Within 30 days Pete was addicted. Over the course of 9 months he was stealing from his work to pay for his addiction. He even attempted heroin as recent as a few days ago. To look at Pete, no one would know his struggles. The burden was almost too much to bear. He had shielded his family from this terrible embarrassment. His hope would be that he just died in his sleep.
Over the next two weeks Terri and Pete continued to open up about their lives and the power their situation had over them. Terri had no intention of hurting her family or friend yet somehow someway she wanted to have the love of her life. There was no easy answer and maybe no answer at all. We were the only ones she trusted to share this with. Pete made no effort to alter, slow down, or stop his addiction. He did say he felt relieved to finally open up about it.
At the end of the third session, right after Pete gave us an update Debbie decided it was time to open up. She was there for a reason and it was now or never to share her story. Her story just so happened to be my passion. Debbie walked away from church or in her words church walked away from her. For the sake of space and time I am not going to go into detail as to what brought her to a place in life to where she felt church was not her safe place. I will go on record and say that her story is not unique to her. As she spoke my heart got heavy. I knew the pain she was feeling and totally understood her reluctance to share this chapter in life. To many church or religion is sacred soil yet to others it is a place where weeds choke out the flowers. For Debbie church ruined her life, in her view. She had become cold to the world around her. She had no interest in relationships, matter of fact she had no interest in much of anything. Her world centered around work and exercise, that was it. Any attempt from people to crack her wall absolutely was not happening. Yet for some reason she trusted our little group.
These stories are real, the endings have yet to be written. The goal was to see what was holding people back from finding or discovering their authentic self. We, as human beings, DO NOT need others to tell us our purpose. That is part of self discovery. We DO NOT need people to teach us how to live our lives in fear. What brought us to where we are is environmental conditioning that is set up to make sure people stay in the box society or family or friend has deemed they should be in. God's awe inspired love says NO BOX IS REQUIRED. God's love says we are enough, we are amazing, we are the greatest miracle ever created. Our story is part of our DNA it is who we have become good or bad. We can't run from where we are but we can overcome that which is bringing us down. It is essential for each person reading this to not find fault in the stories above. We were not there to offer advice, we were there to listen. Nothing more nothing less. We allowed people to bare their soul, open up their wounds, let the infections out, in hopes that love would heal.
I realize that everyone carries burdens that at times seem to heavy to hold. It is my hope that you find safe ways to release the heavy loads that have you down. Your story is not a bad story, it is your book. As I say all too often, the final chapter has not be written, your life is not over. I believe that your best days are waiting to be lived. Do not give up hope even if things seem hopeless. Love has an amazing way of restoring warmth to a cold cold heart. Love brings the soul and body together in ways that defies human explanation. No matter what you have done, what you are facing, what hole you are in, it is not the end of the road. Remember you are enough, you've always been enough, in fact you are more than enough. I can say that with authority because God created you with love for love to share in love. Hold your head high.
We are in the process of putting together another safe group. Hopefully in the near future I will have more real life stories to share. And yes, I will update you on the wonderful people in this blog. They made the decision to find their authentic self and my heart says they will do just that. What they find will amaze them in ways they never thought possible. It's time to put awe and wonder back in your life. Why, because you are worth it.
God bless
Dale
The idea was to bring together a group of people that would be willing to open up in total honesty, knowing the environment was safe, and share their raw emotions about life, love, sorrow, faith, or anything they felt was holding them back. Maybe not so much holding them back as much as keeping them from being their true authentic self.
Terri got the ball rolling. In our first meeting we just chatted about life and how important it is to have safe places to share real circumstances. At our second gathering Terri took the leap of faith. She opened up about her 12 year marriage, her career, as well as her 9 year old daughter's love for soccer. She said she had the all american life, with one exception. For the last 2 years she had been involved in an affair with a man that was a close friend of the family. He too was married and his wife was one of her friends. Needless to say without me writing much more you can understand her pain. We just sit and listened as Terri closed her eyes and allowed her story to unfold.
It was obvious as Terri led us on her journey that Pete was moved by her honesty. There was no doubt just getting this out was liberating for her so he made the difficult decision to share his heart wrenching life journey. Pete has a wonderful career and he great reputation in the community. His involvement in city projects helped bring people together in loving ways. As he started the conversation tears begin to roll down his cheeks. He said that all he wanted was to be true to himself and to everyone around him. I'll admit my curiosity was high as to what could be such a heavy burden on this special man. He told us about the car accident 4 years back and how it messed up his hip, back, and right shoulder. After 18 months of therapy, two surgeries, and a pain specialist he finally felt like hope was being restored. Everything was heading in a good direction until he tripped and fell down a couple steps in his house. His right arm, instinctively, tried to shield the fall, but when he landed he knew that his shoulder was damaged again. The trip to ER was basically useless yet life changing. The ER doctor gave him a 7 day prescription of pain medication. Beings the pain was excruciating Pete decided to take higher doses. To his amazement IT WORKED. The problem was that before long he was out and desired more. A couple of close friends had unused pain medication and they unknowingly offered to help. Within 30 days Pete was addicted. Over the course of 9 months he was stealing from his work to pay for his addiction. He even attempted heroin as recent as a few days ago. To look at Pete, no one would know his struggles. The burden was almost too much to bear. He had shielded his family from this terrible embarrassment. His hope would be that he just died in his sleep.
Over the next two weeks Terri and Pete continued to open up about their lives and the power their situation had over them. Terri had no intention of hurting her family or friend yet somehow someway she wanted to have the love of her life. There was no easy answer and maybe no answer at all. We were the only ones she trusted to share this with. Pete made no effort to alter, slow down, or stop his addiction. He did say he felt relieved to finally open up about it.
At the end of the third session, right after Pete gave us an update Debbie decided it was time to open up. She was there for a reason and it was now or never to share her story. Her story just so happened to be my passion. Debbie walked away from church or in her words church walked away from her. For the sake of space and time I am not going to go into detail as to what brought her to a place in life to where she felt church was not her safe place. I will go on record and say that her story is not unique to her. As she spoke my heart got heavy. I knew the pain she was feeling and totally understood her reluctance to share this chapter in life. To many church or religion is sacred soil yet to others it is a place where weeds choke out the flowers. For Debbie church ruined her life, in her view. She had become cold to the world around her. She had no interest in relationships, matter of fact she had no interest in much of anything. Her world centered around work and exercise, that was it. Any attempt from people to crack her wall absolutely was not happening. Yet for some reason she trusted our little group.
These stories are real, the endings have yet to be written. The goal was to see what was holding people back from finding or discovering their authentic self. We, as human beings, DO NOT need others to tell us our purpose. That is part of self discovery. We DO NOT need people to teach us how to live our lives in fear. What brought us to where we are is environmental conditioning that is set up to make sure people stay in the box society or family or friend has deemed they should be in. God's awe inspired love says NO BOX IS REQUIRED. God's love says we are enough, we are amazing, we are the greatest miracle ever created. Our story is part of our DNA it is who we have become good or bad. We can't run from where we are but we can overcome that which is bringing us down. It is essential for each person reading this to not find fault in the stories above. We were not there to offer advice, we were there to listen. Nothing more nothing less. We allowed people to bare their soul, open up their wounds, let the infections out, in hopes that love would heal.
I realize that everyone carries burdens that at times seem to heavy to hold. It is my hope that you find safe ways to release the heavy loads that have you down. Your story is not a bad story, it is your book. As I say all too often, the final chapter has not be written, your life is not over. I believe that your best days are waiting to be lived. Do not give up hope even if things seem hopeless. Love has an amazing way of restoring warmth to a cold cold heart. Love brings the soul and body together in ways that defies human explanation. No matter what you have done, what you are facing, what hole you are in, it is not the end of the road. Remember you are enough, you've always been enough, in fact you are more than enough. I can say that with authority because God created you with love for love to share in love. Hold your head high.
We are in the process of putting together another safe group. Hopefully in the near future I will have more real life stories to share. And yes, I will update you on the wonderful people in this blog. They made the decision to find their authentic self and my heart says they will do just that. What they find will amaze them in ways they never thought possible. It's time to put awe and wonder back in your life. Why, because you are worth it.
God bless
Dale
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