Choose Life

Don't die before you are dead

I had a wonderful friend named Jennifer tell me "to have hope in your future you must have power in the present". It took several years for me to grasp the simplicity of her statement. I, like many, spend to much energy looking back to the past that I forget that life is only in the here and now. Hope, as Jennifer reminded me, is reserved for the future. You can't have hope in the now, because now is now you can only live it. Hope is in fact a future, forward thinking, element of living life to the fullest.

When we relegate ourselves to yesterday, we become prisoners to our past. That in and of itself robs us of the ability to live in the present. Hope is the essence of life, however it's also something we have very little of when our life is out of balance emotionally and spiritually. Most of us have had those surreal moments when time seems to stand still. The phone call, the sudden death of a loved one, the car wreck, the break up, the break down, or an unexpected tragedy of some kind. Any one of those could literally stop you in your tracks. Hope in the future is gone, as is the power of your present.

When I met Jennifer she was in the late stages of pancreatic cancer. She was 49 years old and even in her emaciated condition she had a zest for life and a hope for the future. Her power in the present was amazing, She did all she could to get every ounce of life out of every moment. Most people take health for granted as they do living too. It's easier to whine, bitch, and moan about getting our feelings hurt than it is to get up, get over it, forgive, and LIVE.

What is holding you back? Is it a love that seems out of reach, maybe a dream you gave up on, an illness you haven't disclosed or one you are struggling with, could it be the loss of job, possibly the guilt from an affair, etc. Again, any one of these could put a halt on your hope for the future. Remember, the problem with the problem is that it starts out fun. Once the fun and exhilaration wanes reality sets in. What do we do?

When I saw Jennifer last, we were able to spend 40 minutes laughing, crying, and sharing. No doubt she knew her time on earth was in it's final stages. Jennifer could have wasted precious time thinking about the "I wish I had", but NO, she was busy sharing smiles, laughter, and hope with the other people in the hospital, myself included. She struggled to walk, to breath, heck everything was a struggle for her, except one, LIVING. She was a master of getting the most out of life.

Instead of placing yourself in the box of life entitled "dreams I'll never see", let's collectively throw away all the existing boxes. Now let's create new descriptions for our life that is waiting to be lived. Titles like "dreams I haven't experienced YET", "LOVE I haven't found YET", Passionate purpose that is waiting to be discovered", "books that haven't been written", "journey's not yet walked", "grudges that haven't been settled", "forgiveness not yet given", and "life that still hasn't been lived".We have so much to do that there is ZERO time to live life backwards. Regardless what has happened to you, remember you have survived 100% of your worst days. For whatever reason you have found yourself right here, right now, reading this blog. You have two choices. Seek, discover, find, and fill your hope for the future, which will allow you to fully participate with power in the present. Or the other choice, let the sands of the hourglass keep falling while you live life backwards. No matter the pain, the sorrow, the hurt, it is all part of the circle of life. It is up to us to find the grace disguised in every thing. Will it be difficult? You bet it will. Will it be possible? Absolutely.

Jennifer and I made an agreement with each other as I was getting ready to leave the hospital. We decided that we would celebrate life and surviving cancer 5 years from that day. In her frail state I must admit she fired me up. If she could find enough hope in her future to have that much power in the present, surely I could do the same. Two weeks later I got a call from Jennifer's sister, she said Jennifer wanted to talk to me. We spoke briefly and in her weak voice apologized that she could not make that 5 year date, and even then she told me to have hope in my future. Jennifer died that day and I have to say that she, more than most, lived in the present till she died.

Jennifer taught me the graceful art of living life. Yes we have obstacles, believe me she had more than most. Even with her pulling around an IV, weak and jaundiced, she still captivated people with her warm smile and conversation. Jennifer, herself, gave hope to others. Regardless where you are, what you have, what walls you have built, you can get your life back. You owe it to yourself, more than anyone else, to live and dream. Jennifer proved that hope in the future indeed does give you power in your present. It's time we all learn to live again. We have a life waiting for us.

God bless
Dale