Peek a Boo and Heaven Too
Over the last few weeks I feel as though I have literally peered into the eyes of human souls struggling to find answers to the complexities of life. It isn't something I take for granted, it is a responsibility I have been given. Let me share how it all got started.
On the morning of July 11 I drove myself to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack or worse. My blood pressure was 265/125, which needless to say concerned the nurse helping me. After an EKG, lung x-ray, brain scan, and a few other test I was oblivious to, it was discovered that my kidneys were not functioning. I remained in the hospital for 9 days with excellent care. The final verdict was that my cancer had returned and spread to my bladder. I started chemo immediately, which brings us up to date and the reason for my blog this morning.
I didn't need to be reminded that my cancer was aggressive. The goal would be comfort as well as extending life. Doesn't sound exactly hopeful BUT I have found wonderful blessings in this short journey thus far. It's been said that a person that loses his/her eyesight discovers an increase in senses in other areas of the body. I felt something similar as I embarked on this grace filled trek. As certain bodily functions failed others rose to the occasion, It was as if the universe was saying that I needed a reset, a refocus, a fresh start. This time seeing the value of people more than the value of stuff we people use in vain to bridge the chasm deep within us, I begin to understand my role was larger than I anticipated. Thank goodness I found I was up for the challenge the universe placed before me.
There was a time I walked past people without even seeing them. I bet you do that too. It's amazing how many folks we come in contact with in a days time yet never actually see the person. That was me, not intentional mind you, it just happened. Now with a heightened sense of peace, love, kindness, and hope, i try to see everyone around me. For some reason I can sense the sorrow and hurt that some are carrying. I realize now, more than ever, that we share in the weight of that load, simply by not caring. I know, I know, you care, as well as I do, but if the other person doesn't feel your love and caring it doesn't help. We can't just tell people how much we care, it is through action that our compassion is felt. Do you see the person? Repeat that to yourself several times a day and before long you will see and feel the needs of those close to you. You will also begin to see the needs inside your own body. The universe uses each of us to save others and through our actions we discover the life preservers all around us.
A few nights ago, I was extremely sick from chemo. I woke up knowing that I was about to vomit. I hurried to the bathroom and awaited the inevitable. After a tough few minutes I made my way back to bed and drifted off to sleep. I know I was asleep, and dreaming, but I felt as though I was as lucid as I am right now. My dream took me to the place we call heaven. I say "we call" because the wonderful beings in that place referred to it by other terms, very loving mind you. I discovered so much in that brief journey to the after life, discoveries that will stay with me until my time to return permanently. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will share more about that experience.
I realize there are skeptics, heck I'm one myself. Not that it matters. What matters is the why I am sharing this. I, like many, have made serious modifications in life over the last few weeks. I am facing a grim prognosis with the ugly word called cancer. I wear a catheter full time, something I never ever would have thought would happen to me. Yet for some reason every day I find amazing graces disguised all around me. The faces of my fellow chemo patients tell a sad yet real story. They all are searching for hope and grasping for a few more days of life. Not life as it once was, but life as it probably should have been. It isn't the material world that fills the voids in our soul, oh no, now it is finding the meaning of life through loving ourselves and others. If we only knew the not so secret, secrets of life years ago. We will not allow ourselves to go backwards with a bunch of what if's, we are living life forward with a zest and vigor for LOVE the likes of which eluded us over most of our living days.
One more day please! One more chance to show the world the love I've withheld.
One more minute please! let me be that light of hope that brings comfort to others
One more second please! I need to pour out my heart to those around me
One more conversation, one more hug, one more embrace so the universe can extent its love through me to others.
One more breath, one more smile, one more tear, one more song, one more forgiveness, one more acceptance.
One more dream that brings hope to this earthly place I call home
It is hope we seek in times of great difficulty. No amount of money can purchase what the soul is hungry for. It is the love in your heart that the world deserves to see, touch, and feel.
Life is short for the healthiest of us. Yet it isn't the length of our life that matters, is it. It is the amount of living, loving, and giving, we put into each moment we have been granted.
It is my desire, my hope, my longing, my passionate purpose to live my days in such a way that I inspire others to be the best they can be. I hope the universe continues to give me the wisdom to feel the hurt of those around me. I pray that I can be the illumination that shines hope on to the paths of those feeling hopeless. No life is expendable. We all deserve to be loved, where we are right now.
Cancer is my journey and I will use each and every day to lift up and inspire those of whom I come in contact. Together we can change the world, it starts by building a bridge within yourself and before you know it unity will be all around us.
peace and blessings
Dale Childress
On the morning of July 11 I drove myself to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack or worse. My blood pressure was 265/125, which needless to say concerned the nurse helping me. After an EKG, lung x-ray, brain scan, and a few other test I was oblivious to, it was discovered that my kidneys were not functioning. I remained in the hospital for 9 days with excellent care. The final verdict was that my cancer had returned and spread to my bladder. I started chemo immediately, which brings us up to date and the reason for my blog this morning.
I didn't need to be reminded that my cancer was aggressive. The goal would be comfort as well as extending life. Doesn't sound exactly hopeful BUT I have found wonderful blessings in this short journey thus far. It's been said that a person that loses his/her eyesight discovers an increase in senses in other areas of the body. I felt something similar as I embarked on this grace filled trek. As certain bodily functions failed others rose to the occasion, It was as if the universe was saying that I needed a reset, a refocus, a fresh start. This time seeing the value of people more than the value of stuff we people use in vain to bridge the chasm deep within us, I begin to understand my role was larger than I anticipated. Thank goodness I found I was up for the challenge the universe placed before me.
There was a time I walked past people without even seeing them. I bet you do that too. It's amazing how many folks we come in contact with in a days time yet never actually see the person. That was me, not intentional mind you, it just happened. Now with a heightened sense of peace, love, kindness, and hope, i try to see everyone around me. For some reason I can sense the sorrow and hurt that some are carrying. I realize now, more than ever, that we share in the weight of that load, simply by not caring. I know, I know, you care, as well as I do, but if the other person doesn't feel your love and caring it doesn't help. We can't just tell people how much we care, it is through action that our compassion is felt. Do you see the person? Repeat that to yourself several times a day and before long you will see and feel the needs of those close to you. You will also begin to see the needs inside your own body. The universe uses each of us to save others and through our actions we discover the life preservers all around us.
A few nights ago, I was extremely sick from chemo. I woke up knowing that I was about to vomit. I hurried to the bathroom and awaited the inevitable. After a tough few minutes I made my way back to bed and drifted off to sleep. I know I was asleep, and dreaming, but I felt as though I was as lucid as I am right now. My dream took me to the place we call heaven. I say "we call" because the wonderful beings in that place referred to it by other terms, very loving mind you. I discovered so much in that brief journey to the after life, discoveries that will stay with me until my time to return permanently. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will share more about that experience.
I realize there are skeptics, heck I'm one myself. Not that it matters. What matters is the why I am sharing this. I, like many, have made serious modifications in life over the last few weeks. I am facing a grim prognosis with the ugly word called cancer. I wear a catheter full time, something I never ever would have thought would happen to me. Yet for some reason every day I find amazing graces disguised all around me. The faces of my fellow chemo patients tell a sad yet real story. They all are searching for hope and grasping for a few more days of life. Not life as it once was, but life as it probably should have been. It isn't the material world that fills the voids in our soul, oh no, now it is finding the meaning of life through loving ourselves and others. If we only knew the not so secret, secrets of life years ago. We will not allow ourselves to go backwards with a bunch of what if's, we are living life forward with a zest and vigor for LOVE the likes of which eluded us over most of our living days.
One more day please! One more chance to show the world the love I've withheld.
One more minute please! let me be that light of hope that brings comfort to others
One more second please! I need to pour out my heart to those around me
One more conversation, one more hug, one more embrace so the universe can extent its love through me to others.
One more breath, one more smile, one more tear, one more song, one more forgiveness, one more acceptance.
One more dream that brings hope to this earthly place I call home
It is hope we seek in times of great difficulty. No amount of money can purchase what the soul is hungry for. It is the love in your heart that the world deserves to see, touch, and feel.
Life is short for the healthiest of us. Yet it isn't the length of our life that matters, is it. It is the amount of living, loving, and giving, we put into each moment we have been granted.
It is my desire, my hope, my longing, my passionate purpose to live my days in such a way that I inspire others to be the best they can be. I hope the universe continues to give me the wisdom to feel the hurt of those around me. I pray that I can be the illumination that shines hope on to the paths of those feeling hopeless. No life is expendable. We all deserve to be loved, where we are right now.
Cancer is my journey and I will use each and every day to lift up and inspire those of whom I come in contact. Together we can change the world, it starts by building a bridge within yourself and before you know it unity will be all around us.
peace and blessings
Dale Childress
Comments