My life without me
Spirituality is a work in
progress, I am sure most would agree. It is also a living part of us that can
change frequently. Because we were created with a spiritual foundation, as we
grow, it is up to us and our sphere of influence to develop it. Many factors
can have an impact on that formation. As we pass through the ebb and flow,
faith also plays a large nurturing role.
Several years ago I met a lady that was at odds with God, to say the least. Her life had seen its fair share of trials and tribulations. We talked several times over a one-year period and her antagonistic attitude toward God and religion softened considerably. The factors surrounding the softening are what are most intriguing. Her circle of influence that had formed her conscious mind for so many years slowly drifted away as a new one developed. She began to see the humanity in people in a fresh new way. All of the sudden, she was not the only one suffering from depression, loss, and the confusions of society as she had thought she was; much of the world at large suffered from something, so she realized that she did fit in after all. As the weeks and months passed by, she found herself reading spiritual and religious material and absorbing it all in an exciting manner. Life and hope were opening up and she was loving the direction things were going.
As her spirituality grew and she was learning to understand people in a new way, something quite interesting happened. Her ability to see the faults in others was developing to an amazing degree of maturity. What eyesight she had to see into the hearts and souls of those around her. The large circle of friends she had developed over the months was slowly being set aside one by one since they could not see into the heart of God the way she could. It wasn't her fault that she was chosen to follow the commands God had set forth while others continued to live their heathen ways; something had to be done. They must be exposed so as to cleanse the faith in preparation for the coming of the Kingdom. Well naturally I was a heathen, so we lost contact for a few years due to the fact I was not able or had the desire to elevate myself up her religious ladder.
Fast forward a few years and allow me to bring the story up to date. I ran into this person a few weeks back and in casual conversation, I noticed a distinct difference since the last time we had spoken. Her demeanor was much softer and I could see in her eyes that her judgmental character trait was no longer there. I ask her about church, faith, and spiritual formation thinking that would lead my curiosity somewhere. She shared with me a wonderful life lesson that I hope I can portray in the manner in which it was delivered to me.
“My life before God and church was almost unbearable,” she said. “I hoped on a daily basis that I somehow could find the courage to escape this life but I was too much of a coward, so I just had to endure. I was happy when I finally discovered that there were people out there that knew and understood this God creature that I had heard about but never could seem to find. As I changed my sphere of influence, I began to see that life did matter and I could be happy if I made some decisions that would lead me away from the depressed state of mind I had carried around so long. I left the small circle of friends I had and moved on to the ones who ‘got it,’ if you know what I mean. I was so fortunate to be able to see the bad in others even though I told people that I sought the good. I wanted everyone to see and feel what I thought I felt.
The crash came the day I met a man that my circle of friends had warned me to stay away from. I was drawn to his love for humanity and life in general. He had no material needs other than a bottle of alcohol. Yes, he was dependent and I wanted to help, but in the end it was he who helped me. My eyes were opened to the beauty of the people around me. I no longer felt the need to cast spells of judgment because it was obvious that God worked through the people at the bottom of the ladder as much or more than the ones at the top. I felt awful about how I had treated people over the last few years. I had allowed religion to replace my faith formation. The words of Jesus kept coming back to me "I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was sick and you did not comfort me, in prison and you did not visit me."
I still love the righteous friends I made because they are good people, I just want my life to be defined not by what I said but who I helped. I hurt people in my condemnation, so now I will lift them up so hopefully they can see that God exists in me.” Her last words to me that meant the most were when she said "please forgive me if I ever caused you pain".
You may think it was her life lesson that made me write this, but the truth is it was her honesty towards it. Her humanity and realization of it gave her back the life others stole from her in the name of God and Church. She will now be the model of love, forgiveness, and acceptance that will change the world in a positive way. I wish I could have expressed this exactly the way it was expressed to me. Her love for life now is so genuine that it was infectious. I am proud of you, my faithful friend.
peace to you
Dale
Several years ago I met a lady that was at odds with God, to say the least. Her life had seen its fair share of trials and tribulations. We talked several times over a one-year period and her antagonistic attitude toward God and religion softened considerably. The factors surrounding the softening are what are most intriguing. Her circle of influence that had formed her conscious mind for so many years slowly drifted away as a new one developed. She began to see the humanity in people in a fresh new way. All of the sudden, she was not the only one suffering from depression, loss, and the confusions of society as she had thought she was; much of the world at large suffered from something, so she realized that she did fit in after all. As the weeks and months passed by, she found herself reading spiritual and religious material and absorbing it all in an exciting manner. Life and hope were opening up and she was loving the direction things were going.
As her spirituality grew and she was learning to understand people in a new way, something quite interesting happened. Her ability to see the faults in others was developing to an amazing degree of maturity. What eyesight she had to see into the hearts and souls of those around her. The large circle of friends she had developed over the months was slowly being set aside one by one since they could not see into the heart of God the way she could. It wasn't her fault that she was chosen to follow the commands God had set forth while others continued to live their heathen ways; something had to be done. They must be exposed so as to cleanse the faith in preparation for the coming of the Kingdom. Well naturally I was a heathen, so we lost contact for a few years due to the fact I was not able or had the desire to elevate myself up her religious ladder.
Fast forward a few years and allow me to bring the story up to date. I ran into this person a few weeks back and in casual conversation, I noticed a distinct difference since the last time we had spoken. Her demeanor was much softer and I could see in her eyes that her judgmental character trait was no longer there. I ask her about church, faith, and spiritual formation thinking that would lead my curiosity somewhere. She shared with me a wonderful life lesson that I hope I can portray in the manner in which it was delivered to me.
“My life before God and church was almost unbearable,” she said. “I hoped on a daily basis that I somehow could find the courage to escape this life but I was too much of a coward, so I just had to endure. I was happy when I finally discovered that there were people out there that knew and understood this God creature that I had heard about but never could seem to find. As I changed my sphere of influence, I began to see that life did matter and I could be happy if I made some decisions that would lead me away from the depressed state of mind I had carried around so long. I left the small circle of friends I had and moved on to the ones who ‘got it,’ if you know what I mean. I was so fortunate to be able to see the bad in others even though I told people that I sought the good. I wanted everyone to see and feel what I thought I felt.
The crash came the day I met a man that my circle of friends had warned me to stay away from. I was drawn to his love for humanity and life in general. He had no material needs other than a bottle of alcohol. Yes, he was dependent and I wanted to help, but in the end it was he who helped me. My eyes were opened to the beauty of the people around me. I no longer felt the need to cast spells of judgment because it was obvious that God worked through the people at the bottom of the ladder as much or more than the ones at the top. I felt awful about how I had treated people over the last few years. I had allowed religion to replace my faith formation. The words of Jesus kept coming back to me "I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was sick and you did not comfort me, in prison and you did not visit me."
I still love the righteous friends I made because they are good people, I just want my life to be defined not by what I said but who I helped. I hurt people in my condemnation, so now I will lift them up so hopefully they can see that God exists in me.” Her last words to me that meant the most were when she said "please forgive me if I ever caused you pain".
You may think it was her life lesson that made me write this, but the truth is it was her honesty towards it. Her humanity and realization of it gave her back the life others stole from her in the name of God and Church. She will now be the model of love, forgiveness, and acceptance that will change the world in a positive way. I wish I could have expressed this exactly the way it was expressed to me. Her love for life now is so genuine that it was infectious. I am proud of you, my faithful friend.
peace to you
Dale
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