A moment in my thoughts
I have written so much my fingers are hurting yet for some reason I still do think I have written what I set out to write. There is something missing and I am not sure what it is. Maybe not being totally honest with myself about what is on my mind. I, like many, try so hard to dance around the obvious in hopes it will simply go away.
Since this is my blog I suppose I can make it as personal as I want to, right? I am thinking that me being forthright and honest may help someone else do the same thing.
Over the last year I have struggled, in a good way, to find my spiritual bearings. The search has led me literally all over the board. At first I studied different religions but then the light went off and I realized it isn't religion that provides us faith it is the totality of our life circumstances. As you may well know most people find religion when there is some sort of event that happens in life. Could be positive or it could be something negative that shook them to the core. For me the situation was opposite, I had my religion but my faith and spirituality were not as strong as they needed to be. I will take credit and blame for my lack of spirituality. I say credit because once I embarked on the journey so many new doors opened up.
This morning as my mind swirled around my faith and spirituality I decided I had landed in a comfortable spot because I was now open minded to things I once was close minded about. Then I started thinking as I so often do about my professional future. Am I bound by money to stay the course until retirement, or do I allow my free spirit mind to explore the possibilities that await. You see in my earlier life I was a risk taker, I lived on the edge. I made money, I lost money, either way I pushed on without fear of loss. Then for some odd reason I became responsible and lost my drive to be the best version of myself possible. I let me down, and I let God down. I allowed life to bring me down to average, when in fact God created us to be so much more. Now I am faced with the task of finding myself again in order to find God.
For the Bible thumping religious do not misunderstand my words. I am fully aware that God is everywhere, I am also aware that God needs us to participate in our lives. We can't sit back and wait for God to do something. If you remember the parable about the man that buried his money, he was cast into hell. God rewarded risk takers. To be me I have to find the courage to seek me. That brings me to my search for meaning and there in lies my quest for God.
You know when we make decisions right or wrong there is a fare amount of liberation felt. That is where I am right now. I am liberated because I have decided to live life again. Live it without fear of failure, live it with love of neighbor, live it as the best servant of my talents as possible. In the art of living comes the act of finding. God is where I am and I now feel the push to be the best version of me possible. I will no longer allow life to control me I will control it. I will be my own best advocate. I will love, accept, forgive, and help everyone be the best they can be.
That is a peek inside my brain today. That was basically a discussion with self. I can say with all honesty God was part of the discussion and it has now brought me the freedom of choice to choose to live. I hope you too can choose life over death.
peace to you
Dale
Since this is my blog I suppose I can make it as personal as I want to, right? I am thinking that me being forthright and honest may help someone else do the same thing.
Over the last year I have struggled, in a good way, to find my spiritual bearings. The search has led me literally all over the board. At first I studied different religions but then the light went off and I realized it isn't religion that provides us faith it is the totality of our life circumstances. As you may well know most people find religion when there is some sort of event that happens in life. Could be positive or it could be something negative that shook them to the core. For me the situation was opposite, I had my religion but my faith and spirituality were not as strong as they needed to be. I will take credit and blame for my lack of spirituality. I say credit because once I embarked on the journey so many new doors opened up.
This morning as my mind swirled around my faith and spirituality I decided I had landed in a comfortable spot because I was now open minded to things I once was close minded about. Then I started thinking as I so often do about my professional future. Am I bound by money to stay the course until retirement, or do I allow my free spirit mind to explore the possibilities that await. You see in my earlier life I was a risk taker, I lived on the edge. I made money, I lost money, either way I pushed on without fear of loss. Then for some odd reason I became responsible and lost my drive to be the best version of myself possible. I let me down, and I let God down. I allowed life to bring me down to average, when in fact God created us to be so much more. Now I am faced with the task of finding myself again in order to find God.
For the Bible thumping religious do not misunderstand my words. I am fully aware that God is everywhere, I am also aware that God needs us to participate in our lives. We can't sit back and wait for God to do something. If you remember the parable about the man that buried his money, he was cast into hell. God rewarded risk takers. To be me I have to find the courage to seek me. That brings me to my search for meaning and there in lies my quest for God.
You know when we make decisions right or wrong there is a fare amount of liberation felt. That is where I am right now. I am liberated because I have decided to live life again. Live it without fear of failure, live it with love of neighbor, live it as the best servant of my talents as possible. In the art of living comes the act of finding. God is where I am and I now feel the push to be the best version of me possible. I will no longer allow life to control me I will control it. I will be my own best advocate. I will love, accept, forgive, and help everyone be the best they can be.
That is a peek inside my brain today. That was basically a discussion with self. I can say with all honesty God was part of the discussion and it has now brought me the freedom of choice to choose to live. I hope you too can choose life over death.
peace to you
Dale
Comments