Blind Exploration

Over the last couple years I have written many blogs about faith, religion, and spirituality. The truth is that I was writing more to myself than to others but as fate would have many identified with what I was writing. Today, like many times over the last two years, I find myself once again exploring that mystical philosophical tug in my heart and soul that says to keep looking the answers are within. 

As I allow my mind to transcend the depths of my heart with total permission to open doors that have been closed for life I feel the release of age old anxiety that has directed my moves forever. It is ingrained in us to act a certain way, think a certain way, and be a certain way when it comes to our spiritual behavior. I allowed myself to be part of popular culture and follow the path of generations before me. There were so many elements that made no sense yet it was explained away as faith. I, like many, needed more than that so I sought, I explored, I dug, and yes I discovered. I did not discover the totality and truth of our spiritual existence but what I did discover was something much greater, I discovered me. 

Once I looked in from outside I quickly saw that all my dents, dings, past transgressions, mistakes, were not part of some horror film they were who I was and it formed a person much more complete than I ever imagined. There was a hint of beauty to the man looking back from the glass. The flaws created a miracle I was too blind to see before the exploration began.  

As I searched for my spiritual being I found that there was still a person locked away buried by years of dirt and mud that had encapsulated my body so tight that all that was left was a mere image of a man going through the motions until this life ended. Once I start moving the dirt away I once again saw the scars of a life hard lived. I saw the mistakes, the sins, the lies, the deception, all the things that created in me shame. Why now should I be making this exploration?

Through all the filth, debris, and flesh eating garbage I found some amazing beauty. All these years we have been taught that we are terrible because we sin, but the truth is we sin because we are tempted beings seeking love and acceptance. I now see what I was blind too before. The book of my life that I have spent a lifetime allowing others to write is now going to be finished by none other than me. I will write about my love affair with the person that inhabits my body. I will discover the true love of God, as I am made in his image. I will accept who I am as I will also accept others for who they are.

What was once a horror film is now a love story. What was once hidden away is now seeing the light of day.  As in the song Amazing Grace, I was blind but now I see. I urge everyone to replace the years of bitter emotions that are welled up in your heart. Stop seeing yourself as a hopeless outcast that no one understands and start seeing yourself as the amazing unique individual that was created to make a big difference in small ways. Your life has more value than you can imagine, reach out and grab it.

peace and love
Dale