Blame ME
I get lots of emails daily from people that comment about my blogs or video's. Not everyone shares my thoughts which is good, I enjoy friendly disagreements. I have learned over the years that there are few absolutes in life especially as it pertains to faith, spirituality, and search for self. I suppose that is why book stores dedicate so much space to the so called "Self Help" section. I, in no means, intend to offer you professional self help today, however I do desire to share with you some thoughts and feelings about a question asked of me. The question sounds simple but the answer is anything but. Here is what Benjamin from Outer Banks NC wrote and asked: there is so much in life I want to do and accomplish but I feel so negative all the time. I blame my upbringing for those feelings and almost feel as thought it is a hopeless case to become the person I want to be, what do you think?
As I attempt to answer Benjamin's question let me offer a disclaimer that I am NOT a licensed professional and my opinions are just that, my opinions. I do however hope you find them useful.
After seven years of writing about life, religion, spirituality, faith, man's search for meaning, etc, I came to realize pretty quick that we all have battles to fight that no one else knows about. Those battles do not come with operation manuals nor do they have cookie cutter answers that so many try to force upon us. I usually look past the obvious to seek what is going on deep inside when I try to offer my thoughts. I know from personal experience that we are vastly different in many ways yet we live in a world that tries so hard to bring us into conformity. We see that in almost every institution we are involved with. Every thing has it's set of rules that are cast into place to govern the masses, which in turn can leave out the individuals that feel as though they do not fit in.
As we grow in age and wisdom we quickly succumb to the adage that dreams are for kids and responsibility is for adults. We are taught to act a certain way, worship a certain way, work in a certain field, live in a certain city, etc. If we do anything outside of that established familial guideline gosh and be damned on us. However that also sets up another set of problems that lives on in perpetuity because we feel trapped to live the life that has been cast in stone for us. We lose our individuality and in that the world loses what our contribution could have been.
Benjamin you mention blame, if you have ever read my blogs I often use a quote that says "no man is a failure until he starts blaming others". As easy as it is to blame circumstances for where we are in life, just remember it doesn't get you any closer to the solution. Matter of fact it relegates you to staying in the life prison you currently find yourself. To be what you want to be, you must be willing to do what you think you can't do. People fear failure and rejection so bad that it keeps them locked to where they are. Family and friends are very quick to let you know why you should not have done something when it goes south. The first place to start in your realignment in life and in your search for meaning is to control what goes into your mind. You must replace all feelings of hate, bitterness, jealousy, and envy with love, peace, acceptance, and forgiveness. This sounds easy and to some extent it is BUT it is a slow process. It takes changing environments from negative to positive. In your journey of change you will probably go through a stage to where you begin to realize that the problems you face were self imposed.
The deafness of the noise that rings in our ears shouting out the tones of what we can't do by far overshadow the silence of the whispers of what we can do. We (people) are shaken to the core by the fear of where our thoughts and imagination take us. We are not worthy, our mind tells us. We are too old, to fat, to skinny, to poor, or to broke our conscience reminds us. All of these negative overtones trap us in a life that quickly looses it's focus and relevance. It is so easy to place blame for our plight in life however to do so only validates why we are where are in the first place. To gain a foothold on your dreams it is imperative to to remember this short quote: "no matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction you can always stop and turn around". So it is with life. We are given a second chance every new day that we live. Benjamin I hope that you embrace where you are and allow it to be a solid foundation where you desire to go. This is not a deadend street you are on, matter of fact you are cruising down the freeway of love. I believe in you my friend.
A side note to this blog. No one could ever know that it took me three years to complete this blog. On the surface it may seem like any other blog, but what you don't know is who the person was asking the questions. We shared some private emails back and forth and I am happy to say his life is flying higher than ever. I was able to watch is transformation play out on public display and I am proud of the person he has become.
peace be with you
Dale
As I attempt to answer Benjamin's question let me offer a disclaimer that I am NOT a licensed professional and my opinions are just that, my opinions. I do however hope you find them useful.
After seven years of writing about life, religion, spirituality, faith, man's search for meaning, etc, I came to realize pretty quick that we all have battles to fight that no one else knows about. Those battles do not come with operation manuals nor do they have cookie cutter answers that so many try to force upon us. I usually look past the obvious to seek what is going on deep inside when I try to offer my thoughts. I know from personal experience that we are vastly different in many ways yet we live in a world that tries so hard to bring us into conformity. We see that in almost every institution we are involved with. Every thing has it's set of rules that are cast into place to govern the masses, which in turn can leave out the individuals that feel as though they do not fit in.
As we grow in age and wisdom we quickly succumb to the adage that dreams are for kids and responsibility is for adults. We are taught to act a certain way, worship a certain way, work in a certain field, live in a certain city, etc. If we do anything outside of that established familial guideline gosh and be damned on us. However that also sets up another set of problems that lives on in perpetuity because we feel trapped to live the life that has been cast in stone for us. We lose our individuality and in that the world loses what our contribution could have been.
Benjamin you mention blame, if you have ever read my blogs I often use a quote that says "no man is a failure until he starts blaming others". As easy as it is to blame circumstances for where we are in life, just remember it doesn't get you any closer to the solution. Matter of fact it relegates you to staying in the life prison you currently find yourself. To be what you want to be, you must be willing to do what you think you can't do. People fear failure and rejection so bad that it keeps them locked to where they are. Family and friends are very quick to let you know why you should not have done something when it goes south. The first place to start in your realignment in life and in your search for meaning is to control what goes into your mind. You must replace all feelings of hate, bitterness, jealousy, and envy with love, peace, acceptance, and forgiveness. This sounds easy and to some extent it is BUT it is a slow process. It takes changing environments from negative to positive. In your journey of change you will probably go through a stage to where you begin to realize that the problems you face were self imposed.
The deafness of the noise that rings in our ears shouting out the tones of what we can't do by far overshadow the silence of the whispers of what we can do. We (people) are shaken to the core by the fear of where our thoughts and imagination take us. We are not worthy, our mind tells us. We are too old, to fat, to skinny, to poor, or to broke our conscience reminds us. All of these negative overtones trap us in a life that quickly looses it's focus and relevance. It is so easy to place blame for our plight in life however to do so only validates why we are where are in the first place. To gain a foothold on your dreams it is imperative to to remember this short quote: "no matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction you can always stop and turn around". So it is with life. We are given a second chance every new day that we live. Benjamin I hope that you embrace where you are and allow it to be a solid foundation where you desire to go. This is not a deadend street you are on, matter of fact you are cruising down the freeway of love. I believe in you my friend.
A side note to this blog. No one could ever know that it took me three years to complete this blog. On the surface it may seem like any other blog, but what you don't know is who the person was asking the questions. We shared some private emails back and forth and I am happy to say his life is flying higher than ever. I was able to watch is transformation play out on public display and I am proud of the person he has become.
peace be with you
Dale
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