The Me I Wish To Be!

I wish you knew me. As dark as the night, so to is my life when I lose sight of me. The morning turns a into day yet my lonely search provides a dim glimpse of the person that isn't.
I wish you knew me. I already know you, yet you nor I, know me. What is it, why is it , why does it have to be. My lonely heart, my chest pounding with the rhythm of my soul against my being. Who am I, is often the question, and the answer that pushes forth is the question before the question which locks away who I am too me.
I can't sleep at night, my can't stand still. It's the thoughts of lonely times that keep my eyes focused on the me I wished to be.
I held on tight thinking the message that escapes the air waves that framed the wall inside the bleeding heart that could not see the me I wish to be.
The day has been long and night is screaming through, it's me, it's me, you know the person i wish to be.
I sleep alone, my mind it cannot be, I won't let go of the me I desired to be, I allow the darkness into the me I wished to be. I escaped the light that exposed the heart, mind, and soul of the me I shall never be.

This may seem like mercurial person that wrote the above conglomeration of words. The truth however is this was written one night by a 14 year old searching for his place in a world that even his dreams could not see. Allow me to explain and share some wisdom that will be applicable to life as we know it today.

We only have one life to live, yet that one life is enough when we choose to live it. I have said often that to live is the rarest thing, most of us simply exist. The mere existence of our being though provides a measure of hope as we attempt to carve out our place in society. We should never laugh at the dreams of others because it may be all they have. Man's search for meaning transcends so much more than the surface battles we allow to identify who we are.

In the words of a 14 year old, we see his subtle desire to get to know the person that encapsulates the human vessel he possess. You see the ebb and flow, the peaks and valleys of youthful emotions. Who am I, what am I, or what will I ever be. He can't escape the me he wished to be, but he can give up on the me that shall never be.

There is so much wisdom in that short synopsis of life. It isn't what others see in us that matters, it is what we see in ourselves. This young man was surrounded by nature in a beautiful way, yet it was the human warmth he sought to complete the person he so deeply hoped to be. Here is a valuable lesson. We can never be the person we were born to be when we spend our lives trying to be someone else. We were born to stand out yet we work so hard to fit in. The deepest most profound desire known to humanity, is to find, sing, and share the melody that God so graciously placed inside us. That will always be a life long journey. During that trek over rugged terrain many along the way will adjust the dial so as to play a tune that fits their life more than it does yours. That brings to mind a lovely song by Joe Cocker that goes like this: "what would you do if I sing out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me".

As I conclude this deep, rich blog, please recall that line in the song all day. What would you do if I sing out of tune? What would a young man of 14, or lonely middle age woman, or a couple that have grown distant, an elderly person that lost their mate, what would they do when the world around them stands up and walks out because their song is out of tune? Sometimes words are all we have to take our hearts away, yet the people around us only hear the static they choose to hear. Every life, young or hold, rich or poor, has meaning much more than we will ever know. We can however learn to tune our hearts, mind, soul, and yes our ears to the beauty of that around us. It isn't your melody that is out of tune, by the way, it is the person listening with the intent to ignore, when they should be trying to understand. Life is an amazing thing and we all deserve to live a dream. All it takes is believing that we can all sing together in perfect harmony. The wisdom in this little blog was one of hope. Hope in the fact that the me you desire to be is worth a life time pursuit. The music is brighter, crisper, the words are richer, deeper, the moment we accept that the me we desired to be is exactly the person God made me to be.

Peace and love
Dale