Requiem for A Dream

In everything that you do always believe something wonderful is about to happen. Life is difficult as we all know. Just when you think you have it figured out another curve ball comes hurling at you. Whether it is emotions, decisions, expectations, or our skewed reality that causes us to shake our head, the fact is we sometimes do. 

It took me years to figure out that in our own little fantasy land we are all very unique. It is only when we have to escape into our reality realm that we become cookie cutter prints, instead of beautiful mosaic portraits. It is as if we have split personalities, two people co-existing in one body. Externally we have the person that everyone sees. That person may be happy go lucky, a stick in the mud, depressed, energetic, young, or old. The other persona, the one that counts, is the one that resides inside us and can only be revealed in private. That person can be or do anything our imaginations can conceive. What if though, those two can become one?

Learning how to bridge the two people that live in you is a life long commitment. I, like many, kept my gift (my inner person) tucked away so that he could never cause me shame or embarrassment. At this juncture you may ask yourself how this can be, but with further observation you understand it all too well. We work diligently to convince ourselves that we can change our inner self to more fully embody our external self. Have you ever wondered what would happen if that picture were opposite. Seriously think about it. What if we convinced our external being that who we truly were internally should be the one and only personality that encases our body. That sounds daring doesn't it?

This may sound deep and to some extent it is. Consider however when a friend or loved one dies, or you yourself get handed a terminal diagnosis. You reach out to the God you have been taught to pray too and nothing happens. No prayers answered, no peaceful easy feeling, nothing. Yet you dig deep and still convince your external self that God answers prayers his way not ours. But it is that internal self that struggles with the reality you are dealt with. To take this a step further you can even look at sexuality. So many people live stressed, depressed, or unhealthy lifestyles simply because there external and internal beings are totally out of sync sexually. Think about it and I bet you can understand what I mean. 

You may wonder where I am going with this, well let me bring you into my internal personality. My co-existence with my split personalities has been fraught with issues all my life. The two early on in life understood conflict resolution and the deep desire and benefit of the two learning to be one. I struggled with self, never quiet reached my goals, always seemed to put the puzzle together only to find out one crucial piece was missing. My mosaic was working towards being a print just like everyone else. But then an idea creased my mind in some weird way. What if my reality was just that MINE. What if my life and my world only existed to me. My emotions were exclusive to me as was my view of faith, sexuality, spirituality, and universality. What if life wasn't intended to be lived forward, what if it was intended to be lived now? When I begin to explore that things started coming together. Sure I planned for the future but I lived in the now. Over time my print faded and my mosaic started coming together. Granted I may be the only that sees the beauty in my life, but keep in mind it is my life. 

Here is the Holy Grail, the climax, the epitome of this blog. Life was set in motion to be lived. No one is going to knock on your door and make your wishes come true. This is your world and only you can shape it into the reality that your inner self has created. We can't live our dreams via fantasy land we must live them in the space and time in which our external self lives. We must no longer co-exist, we absolutely must unite our personalities and give life to that which has been dead for years. Who you are internally can become a beautiful person externally when you make the very difficult decision to unlock the prison in which you have been living. The world outside may seem so unkind yet the power of two united as one will build a bridge in your heart where only the valley of death once resided. Let your love for life come alive. There is nothing more beautiful than a person that has brought together the split personalities that make up who we are. It is time to consummate your love for self. Put aside all the bitterness and preconceived notions you may have about the person you are trying to hide. This is your requiem for a dream, may the old you rest in peace while the neophyte, the new life, the awesome creation rises up and becomes the greatest miracle this world has ever seen. 

God bless

Dale