Shadow of Fear
It has been said that dark is merely the absence of light. As I pondered the element of darkness I got to thinking about something. What is the dark shadow of our soul? For me to answer that question I needed to identify definitively what the term soul meant to me. When I utilize the word soul I am referring to the spiritual part of our being that dwells within us and has an immortal nature too it. To bring meaning to all this we also need to understand the word shadow, which simply put is a dark area produced by something being between rays of light and a surface. Which brings to mind, what is blocking the light out of your life.
How does the darkness of life find its shadowy way into our soul? There are many pores that can allow darkness to ease it's way into our being. I want to embark on a journey with you that might just help you bring life back into the dark side of your soul.
Faced with a marriage in total disarray, the recent loss of a job, and a home one month away from foreclosure it is safe to say that anxiety and fear of the unknown was at a fever pitch. As he drove into the night trying his best to figure out something that might give some semblance of hope, the final straw happened. His car ran out of gas in the worst part of town. As he sit there pondering his fate he begin to realize how bad he treated people at the office and how removed he was from his family. His life was consumed with controlling everything and everyone and now even he is out of control.
With nothing to loose he got out and started walking without regard to the direction he was going. At first he was fearless in his escapade because, seriously, could life get any worse. Out of nowhere an evil demon appeared, stopping him dead in his tracks. To afraid to run he just stood still as the demon hissed and moaned right up against his face. This creature, he feared is about to slowly rip him apart. Yet as quick as the demon appeared he was gone. (do you ever stop long enough to wonder if the demons in your life are real or imagined) With his heart racing so fast it could pop out of his chest, he continued on. With each step he feared what was next. He noticed off to his left a dog approaching. The dog didn't seem aggressive so he walked on. For some reason though the dog started growling as if someone was after his food. Not knowing whether to stop, walk, run, or seek higher ground, he opted to just stand still again and let the dog trot on off. After a few minutes the threat, as he felt it, was gone, so once again the journey begin.
His heart rate had finally made it's way back down to somewhat of a normal level. His mind had eased from the fear and he began to reflect on his life. He had gotten so consumed with his work that he neglected his wife. His argument to her was "you have a fine home, nice car, money in the bank, what the hell else do you want". He never could understand the abuse he was putting her through with his total emotional detachment. About that time as he turned a corner he walked right into two men standing there having their evening brew. To say they were pissed off was an understatement. They needed some fool to release their drunken bitterness on and he fit the bill. He tried to apology and they told him to shut up. Out of total fear he felt compliance was the best alternative. The yelled and screamed obscenities at him, hoping it would provoke a fight. The man just took the abuse hoping that this too shall pass. Finally after what seemed like hours, but was probably minutes, the two man got bored with the argument and shoved him out of the way. (he thought for a brief minute "oh my gosh" this is how my employees and family feel when I get in my pissed off rages, they just take it out of fear)
He was feeling first hand the powerful grip fear had on his life at that moment. Fear is so much more than a feeling, it is a thought process too. Fearful thinking relegates our lives to an abyss that will drown our soul before we realize what has happened. It slowly erodes our self confidence and our self esteem. Little by little it places us in self imposed prisons with little to no hope for escape. When we find ourselves taking life for granted, the things we are granted will be taken. He was starting to feel the grip of fear the hopelessness of anxiety and the helplessness of being alone.
Breaking free from the two drunks he noticed lights up ahead. Thank God, he thought to himself, maybe there is hope after all. He walked toward the light with his head held high. He faced his fears and made it out alive. Then suddenly as if a wall mysteriously erected itself, the light was gone, blocked by something he could not understand. He was in total darkness. His mind was going craze, his heart exploding and his level of fear had him incapacitated. He fell to his knees crying and begging God to just get him out of here safely. All the sudden he felt the moaning and hissing of the demon at his face, scared to move he just sit there and shook. He heard the two drunks throwing beer bottles at the dog as they too were making there way towards him. He could not see anything, the fear had won, he couldn't face it, he just had to accept his fate. He hoped death would be quick and painless and he prayed that his wife would forgive him for never being there for her.
He woke up to someone tapping on his car window. The gentleman asked if he was okay. Confused, he looked around and noticed he was in his car. No demons, no dogs, no drunks, just him alone in a vehicle with no gas. He told the elderly gentleman that he was in fact okay, matter of fact he was great, he just needed some fuel to get going again. The old man ask him if he was sure he was out of gas. He responded, why yes of course that is why I am stopped. The man said "well son your car is running and by the looks of gauge your tank is full".
Life is all about perspective isn't it? This silly little metaphor brings to light the grip fear places on us. We all have that wonderful yet useless advice "I know what I would do if it were me". The truth is, someone else's life isn't yours and you have no idea what you would do in their exact circumstance. Behind many smiling faces are wounded souls fearful their life will be exposed. Everyone is fighting battles we know nothing about yet how quickly we place objects between ourselves and them which creates a shadow casting out the very light we need to survive.
It has been said that God is light and light is the key element to survival. Many would argue that water is also a substance the body needs to fuel itself. That is absolutely true, without water the body dies, but with out light the body never LIVES.
I know your life is gripped with fear, I know that the demons are hissing and moaning all around you, I also know that the dogs are growling and the drunks are attacking. Every direction you turn you are stopped dead in your tracks by fear. What you don't see is the elderly gentleman that fueled your car while you were crying. What you don't see is the people all around you that desire to bring love and hope back into your life. It is said often that the way you see the world isn't the way the world really is it is the way you are. Change your view and you change your world.
Life is meant to be lived at the highest level. That doesn't mean you have to be skinny, rich, beautiful, or popular, it simply means you need to accept that you are God's greatest miracle and your life has meaning. The dark shadow of the soul resides in all of us, however when we allow the light to cascade through our heart, permeate our mind, it will eventually enhance who we are. In our little journey you did not see the man find the courage to face his fear. But he did wake up to hope. You too may struggle to face your fears, however you too will wake up to the hope and realization that God has a blessing with your name on it. Remember God didn't bring you this far to leave you.
God bless
Dale
How does the darkness of life find its shadowy way into our soul? There are many pores that can allow darkness to ease it's way into our being. I want to embark on a journey with you that might just help you bring life back into the dark side of your soul.
Faced with a marriage in total disarray, the recent loss of a job, and a home one month away from foreclosure it is safe to say that anxiety and fear of the unknown was at a fever pitch. As he drove into the night trying his best to figure out something that might give some semblance of hope, the final straw happened. His car ran out of gas in the worst part of town. As he sit there pondering his fate he begin to realize how bad he treated people at the office and how removed he was from his family. His life was consumed with controlling everything and everyone and now even he is out of control.
With nothing to loose he got out and started walking without regard to the direction he was going. At first he was fearless in his escapade because, seriously, could life get any worse. Out of nowhere an evil demon appeared, stopping him dead in his tracks. To afraid to run he just stood still as the demon hissed and moaned right up against his face. This creature, he feared is about to slowly rip him apart. Yet as quick as the demon appeared he was gone. (do you ever stop long enough to wonder if the demons in your life are real or imagined) With his heart racing so fast it could pop out of his chest, he continued on. With each step he feared what was next. He noticed off to his left a dog approaching. The dog didn't seem aggressive so he walked on. For some reason though the dog started growling as if someone was after his food. Not knowing whether to stop, walk, run, or seek higher ground, he opted to just stand still again and let the dog trot on off. After a few minutes the threat, as he felt it, was gone, so once again the journey begin.
His heart rate had finally made it's way back down to somewhat of a normal level. His mind had eased from the fear and he began to reflect on his life. He had gotten so consumed with his work that he neglected his wife. His argument to her was "you have a fine home, nice car, money in the bank, what the hell else do you want". He never could understand the abuse he was putting her through with his total emotional detachment. About that time as he turned a corner he walked right into two men standing there having their evening brew. To say they were pissed off was an understatement. They needed some fool to release their drunken bitterness on and he fit the bill. He tried to apology and they told him to shut up. Out of total fear he felt compliance was the best alternative. The yelled and screamed obscenities at him, hoping it would provoke a fight. The man just took the abuse hoping that this too shall pass. Finally after what seemed like hours, but was probably minutes, the two man got bored with the argument and shoved him out of the way. (he thought for a brief minute "oh my gosh" this is how my employees and family feel when I get in my pissed off rages, they just take it out of fear)
He was feeling first hand the powerful grip fear had on his life at that moment. Fear is so much more than a feeling, it is a thought process too. Fearful thinking relegates our lives to an abyss that will drown our soul before we realize what has happened. It slowly erodes our self confidence and our self esteem. Little by little it places us in self imposed prisons with little to no hope for escape. When we find ourselves taking life for granted, the things we are granted will be taken. He was starting to feel the grip of fear the hopelessness of anxiety and the helplessness of being alone.
Breaking free from the two drunks he noticed lights up ahead. Thank God, he thought to himself, maybe there is hope after all. He walked toward the light with his head held high. He faced his fears and made it out alive. Then suddenly as if a wall mysteriously erected itself, the light was gone, blocked by something he could not understand. He was in total darkness. His mind was going craze, his heart exploding and his level of fear had him incapacitated. He fell to his knees crying and begging God to just get him out of here safely. All the sudden he felt the moaning and hissing of the demon at his face, scared to move he just sit there and shook. He heard the two drunks throwing beer bottles at the dog as they too were making there way towards him. He could not see anything, the fear had won, he couldn't face it, he just had to accept his fate. He hoped death would be quick and painless and he prayed that his wife would forgive him for never being there for her.
He woke up to someone tapping on his car window. The gentleman asked if he was okay. Confused, he looked around and noticed he was in his car. No demons, no dogs, no drunks, just him alone in a vehicle with no gas. He told the elderly gentleman that he was in fact okay, matter of fact he was great, he just needed some fuel to get going again. The old man ask him if he was sure he was out of gas. He responded, why yes of course that is why I am stopped. The man said "well son your car is running and by the looks of gauge your tank is full".
Life is all about perspective isn't it? This silly little metaphor brings to light the grip fear places on us. We all have that wonderful yet useless advice "I know what I would do if it were me". The truth is, someone else's life isn't yours and you have no idea what you would do in their exact circumstance. Behind many smiling faces are wounded souls fearful their life will be exposed. Everyone is fighting battles we know nothing about yet how quickly we place objects between ourselves and them which creates a shadow casting out the very light we need to survive.
It has been said that God is light and light is the key element to survival. Many would argue that water is also a substance the body needs to fuel itself. That is absolutely true, without water the body dies, but with out light the body never LIVES.
I know your life is gripped with fear, I know that the demons are hissing and moaning all around you, I also know that the dogs are growling and the drunks are attacking. Every direction you turn you are stopped dead in your tracks by fear. What you don't see is the elderly gentleman that fueled your car while you were crying. What you don't see is the people all around you that desire to bring love and hope back into your life. It is said often that the way you see the world isn't the way the world really is it is the way you are. Change your view and you change your world.
Life is meant to be lived at the highest level. That doesn't mean you have to be skinny, rich, beautiful, or popular, it simply means you need to accept that you are God's greatest miracle and your life has meaning. The dark shadow of the soul resides in all of us, however when we allow the light to cascade through our heart, permeate our mind, it will eventually enhance who we are. In our little journey you did not see the man find the courage to face his fear. But he did wake up to hope. You too may struggle to face your fears, however you too will wake up to the hope and realization that God has a blessing with your name on it. Remember God didn't bring you this far to leave you.
God bless
Dale
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