Hospice
I can't remember the last time I saw the sunset so beautiful. Maybe it was always there, I just hadn't been paying attention. It's as though the world has taken on a new majestic look. Why has it taken me a lifetime to see the world that has surrounded me from birth. I was blind but now I see.
I think the family was confused when she agreed to move forward with hospice. They were pushing for more answers, new trials, fancier medication, anything that provided hope. What the missed was the person that had cancer. She (Grace) had battled this off an on for so many years she barely recalls life without sickness. She put herself through various treatment protocols in an effort to extend her life. Each accomplished it's directive yet it also weakened her body along the way. Finally the day came when the tumors were resistant to medication and with the accompaniment of her medical team she made the decision to LIVE the last days of her life. I hope after reading this you too choose to LIVE the last days of your life.
Hospice is like the forbidden taboo ancient lost heretical religion. No one can discuss it much less utilize it, yet here we are, Grace was ready to live life on her terms. She had no desire to die, she had every hope to live. Hospice was going to provide her with quality of life few people healthy seem to have. I ask her point blank what it felt like to be dying. She said that she had twisted it every way imaginable in her mind and still could not understand. So with that said she turned her total focus and effort on living, which is exactly what God has placed us here to do.
All our life it is pounded in our head that the only things for sure are death and taxes. Everything else is a toss up. We were born to live yet the narrative we face in every walk of life is death. It is true that everyone dies, but few ever truly live. It shouldn't take the threat of death for us to cling to life. Grace knew all too well that this day was coming but for some reason she was ill prepared to face the change. As she so graciously informed me, we would prefer to live in misery than face the change that can make our lives better. Call it crazy, call it stupid, we just called it human.
I was talking to a gentleman last week about spirituality. He shared with me his journey of faith from evangelical to a no affiliation Christian. For years he had attended a church that preached fire, hell, and damnation with an emotional violence that should be banned. He recalls those Sunday's when the preacher literally screamed at the congregation, letting them know in minute detail how sinful they were, but somehow at the end he tried to calmly ask them to walk the aisle and give their sorry lives to Christ. The aisle they hoped to walk was out the door. His church needed hospice, it needed to learn how to live while alive, however like many others it died a slow death never realizing the potential and the people it could have reached. It is rather common how many people place emotional violence on themselves and the community around them. One day they look up and no one is left. They had exceeded standard treatment protocol years ago and instead of hospice they chose to die.
At best the relationship was toxic at worst it was downright abusive. No question drugs and alcohol played heavily into the marital demise. Neither had any interest in making the other complete, matter of fact they went to great lengths to inflict as much misery as possible on each other. This partnership died years ago even though the two members were alive. No longer was there an ember that could ignite a flame, there was instead a switch that detonated explosive behavior. This relationship needed hospice years ago. They needed to know the value of living while alive. They needed to understand that quality of life was a partnership. They needed to know that their lives mattered. All it needed was the love of hospice to show that living while breathing is better than dying while walking.
Nothing was ever good enough. She complained about service every where she went. No matter whom she came in contact there was always a bit of negative conversation that ensued. Talk about a person that was simply bitter about life this lady was surely it. Everything was a problem from the time she got up till the time she went to bed. The best part was NOTHING was her fault. She was good, it was just everyone else in her life that sucked. She thought she was a fountain not a drain, but the truth was the opposite. Her eyes were never opened to life until her youngest son got cancer and had to make the decision to complete his short journey on earth with hospice. Her eyes were immediately opened to the awe inspired world around her. For the first time in years she understood that living was much more valuable than dying. Her life needed hospice way before her son's.
Obviously I am using hospice as a metaphor for life. The point to this blog is that we all need to appreciate and embrace life. It's time to promote what we love instead of bashing what we hate. It's time to open our hearts to the possibility that there is more to live for than we currently see. We absolutely must give ourselves permission to explore our being to the core of our soul. We can never accept someone else's dream for our life. Hospice is about living, not dying, life is about living, not dying. The narrative here is simple, grow into your person with all the zeal and vigor you can find. It's time to speak life over your life so you can watch life come into your life. Remember, like I said above, everyone dies, but few ever truly live. Now that you have placed your life on hospice, it is time to fully embrace life while your heart is still beating.
God bless
Dale
I think the family was confused when she agreed to move forward with hospice. They were pushing for more answers, new trials, fancier medication, anything that provided hope. What the missed was the person that had cancer. She (Grace) had battled this off an on for so many years she barely recalls life without sickness. She put herself through various treatment protocols in an effort to extend her life. Each accomplished it's directive yet it also weakened her body along the way. Finally the day came when the tumors were resistant to medication and with the accompaniment of her medical team she made the decision to LIVE the last days of her life. I hope after reading this you too choose to LIVE the last days of your life.
Hospice is like the forbidden taboo ancient lost heretical religion. No one can discuss it much less utilize it, yet here we are, Grace was ready to live life on her terms. She had no desire to die, she had every hope to live. Hospice was going to provide her with quality of life few people healthy seem to have. I ask her point blank what it felt like to be dying. She said that she had twisted it every way imaginable in her mind and still could not understand. So with that said she turned her total focus and effort on living, which is exactly what God has placed us here to do.
All our life it is pounded in our head that the only things for sure are death and taxes. Everything else is a toss up. We were born to live yet the narrative we face in every walk of life is death. It is true that everyone dies, but few ever truly live. It shouldn't take the threat of death for us to cling to life. Grace knew all too well that this day was coming but for some reason she was ill prepared to face the change. As she so graciously informed me, we would prefer to live in misery than face the change that can make our lives better. Call it crazy, call it stupid, we just called it human.
I was talking to a gentleman last week about spirituality. He shared with me his journey of faith from evangelical to a no affiliation Christian. For years he had attended a church that preached fire, hell, and damnation with an emotional violence that should be banned. He recalls those Sunday's when the preacher literally screamed at the congregation, letting them know in minute detail how sinful they were, but somehow at the end he tried to calmly ask them to walk the aisle and give their sorry lives to Christ. The aisle they hoped to walk was out the door. His church needed hospice, it needed to learn how to live while alive, however like many others it died a slow death never realizing the potential and the people it could have reached. It is rather common how many people place emotional violence on themselves and the community around them. One day they look up and no one is left. They had exceeded standard treatment protocol years ago and instead of hospice they chose to die.
At best the relationship was toxic at worst it was downright abusive. No question drugs and alcohol played heavily into the marital demise. Neither had any interest in making the other complete, matter of fact they went to great lengths to inflict as much misery as possible on each other. This partnership died years ago even though the two members were alive. No longer was there an ember that could ignite a flame, there was instead a switch that detonated explosive behavior. This relationship needed hospice years ago. They needed to know the value of living while alive. They needed to understand that quality of life was a partnership. They needed to know that their lives mattered. All it needed was the love of hospice to show that living while breathing is better than dying while walking.
Nothing was ever good enough. She complained about service every where she went. No matter whom she came in contact there was always a bit of negative conversation that ensued. Talk about a person that was simply bitter about life this lady was surely it. Everything was a problem from the time she got up till the time she went to bed. The best part was NOTHING was her fault. She was good, it was just everyone else in her life that sucked. She thought she was a fountain not a drain, but the truth was the opposite. Her eyes were never opened to life until her youngest son got cancer and had to make the decision to complete his short journey on earth with hospice. Her eyes were immediately opened to the awe inspired world around her. For the first time in years she understood that living was much more valuable than dying. Her life needed hospice way before her son's.
Obviously I am using hospice as a metaphor for life. The point to this blog is that we all need to appreciate and embrace life. It's time to promote what we love instead of bashing what we hate. It's time to open our hearts to the possibility that there is more to live for than we currently see. We absolutely must give ourselves permission to explore our being to the core of our soul. We can never accept someone else's dream for our life. Hospice is about living, not dying, life is about living, not dying. The narrative here is simple, grow into your person with all the zeal and vigor you can find. It's time to speak life over your life so you can watch life come into your life. Remember, like I said above, everyone dies, but few ever truly live. Now that you have placed your life on hospice, it is time to fully embrace life while your heart is still beating.
God bless
Dale
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