Layers of the Onion

Let's step out of our comfort zone today and peel back some layers of the onion. Naturally the onion is a metaphor for life. I like this analogy because too often we never plant, fertilize, cultivate, harvest, and peel the greatest potential of our lives. Now if I may, let me try to square this circle. 

Regina battled her whole life trying as she may to conform to what her family and community felt she should be. In high school she excelled at basketball yet she had no desire to further that talent at the college level or beyond. Her vision and prowess on the court was literally unmatched. She had no equal in the game. Opposing coaches and players struggled to contain her mental ability to understand the direction of the game. Yet she had little passion to play, her passion was understanding the psychological profile of the players she teamed with and played against. Never the less pressure from family and friend became insurmountable and she accepted a scholarship to play at a national university. 

The onion was planted, fertilized, and being cultivated by everyone but Regina. Sure, her first two years in school she put up impressive numbers on the court. By the third year anxiety was mounting as her college career was at the maturation point. Her major, which was also heavily encouraged by her sphere of influence and it too was taking it's toll on her. She was playing a game that offered her little pleasure and entering a professional field that she despised. She fell into the pattern of societal conformity and allowed herself to live for others. It was so bad she no longer even knew who she was. 

Fast forward ten years, Regina had a great job with a large accounting firm, and was married to a highly successful gentleman in his own right. To the naked eye her life was charming, yet inside she was rotting away. In every conceivable way Regina's music was fading fast. She found herself going through the motions with absolutely no heart or soul. She was the walking dead. No one knew this but her. She sought many forms of escape but nothing eased the pain because she was living her life through the eyes of others. 

One day inspired by a book she read Regina decided to face every fear that welled up inside her. In her own words, she was going to peel back the layers of the onion and see if the fire she once had still burned. Her first step, she felt, was to share with her husband how unfulfilled she was with her life. This proved to be a pivotal mistake, as he brushed it off by having her examine her life as it was. Faced with the daunting task of shattering everyone else's dreams for her, she rescinded her action plan and replanted the onion in the hopes it would rot and die a quick death. 

Three years later Regina's dad died suddenly of a heart attack. Seeing how quickly life could change, she once again, with more determination decided to dig up that damn onion and peel it. This time when she shared with her husband, it wasn't for approval, it was an action. Knowing she could not live up to her potential and stir a passion that had been locked away she made the painful decision to end their marriage. Thank goodness there were no kids involved. Even though it was a shock to everyone, in short order it was old news. Regina understood, as do many, that becoming the greatest version of ourselves possible takes extremely painful steps. For years she was not willing, nor had the strength, yet as her Dad crossover he somehow, in her eyes threw her a life line. 

With one layer peeled back Regina finally was feeling some invigoration in her life. However, the next layer was not much easier but she did have motivation and her dreams were coming to life. She knew she had no choice but to give up her career at the firm. Referring back to her years understanding basketball, she knew in order to create her dream of empowering women she had to face her fears and make the move.

Beings we are limited for space I hope you can fill in the blanks as to the difficulty and uncertainty Regina felt each step of the way. Nothing about this was easy, nor will it ever be, but when we give ourselves permission to chase and live our dreams it gives a whole new meaning to peeling back the layers. We were created to stand out, not fit in, yet our whole lives we are taught to live a cookie cutter life. Sure we are encouraged to color outside the lines some, just along as we do not open a new coloring book. 

The biggest hurdle was still before her. This was the secret she had held her whole life and the one she feared the most to face. She was at the proverbial crossroads in life. Every layered she had worked so hard to peel back was meaningless if she could not complete the task at hand. More times than she could remember she had to make the shot at the buzzer to win the game, but for some reason this time she had to decide for herself if the game was worth winning. 

The answer came one day when she sit down with a business planner and shared her dream of starting a business that empowered woman to live their potential. The lady asked Regina, what her biggest obstacle was, what was stopping her from going all the way. Before Regina could even think she blurted out "I'm gay, but no one knows it". Well the cat was out of the bag, the final layer fell to the floor, she said the words she feared the most. She said it, she owned, she became herself right then and there. 

Today Regina (not her real name) operates a very successful business that helps woman get their lives on track. She has assembled amazing resources and assisted many women to live their dreams. With the skills she learned on the court she now applies them to life. Regina no longer sees herself as a social misfit she sees herself as an integral part of God's amazing creation. She teaches people how to love, how to live, and how to peel back the layers of their onion. No question about it, many will not be able to stir the strength to pursue their dreams and the world will not be able to see the talent that dwells in them. As for Regina, well, let's just say, she is living her potential every minute of every day. There was a time she hoped death would take her a way, now she teaches others how to be a member of the living not the walking dead. Dreams truly are worth chasing and your life is most certainly worth living. Never allow your music to die without being sung.

God bless

Dale