A Life Worth Living


It was late summer 1976 and us street kids were hanging out behind Lucky Food Store off San Thomas Expressway. It was our little secret gathering spot. In our youthful, yet wise way, we solved the weight of the world at each meeting. Well, the world, as we knew it. There was usually three or four of us that got together, Wendy, Marco, Baggy, sometimes Wormy, and now the new comer Skip. We were all wandering generalities living only for the moment. We had little to no interest in the morrow, our lives centered around today. This was a very close, yet loosely knitted group of youth, that to the outside world had everything going against them. To us, well we had each other, and that gave us a richness few understood.

One evening as myself, Baggy, and Skip were having one of our life conversations, we received news that Marco's family left Santa Clara abruptly. We never knew why, but as we mourned the departure of our friend a wonderful dialogue ensued. Skip with his street wisdom brought up how fake the beautiful people (those that we thought had wealth) were, yet how sad they often seemed. I didn't understand the power of that particular conversation till many years later. I hope in this terse amount of time I have in this writing I can convey the signification of what was debated that night back in 76.

Skip, understood, as I suppose we all did, that we had no choice but to be authentic. It was our moral code. Surviving on the street, with little to no means, aside from each other, required us to be honest. It wasn't something we focused on, it was rather innate in us. We knew without a shadow of a doubt that we all needed each other. That bond was forged in the heart and permeated every pore of our being. When one hurt, we all hurt.

In today's society, we are not rewarded for our authenticity. Sad, yet true, to some extent we are harshly rebuked. As we attempt to discover the truth of our being we quickly realize how quixotic that is today. In every facet of our lives we must conceal what our soul is shouting out. Even though we are told we live in freedom, the act of being free is very expensive. Skip, somehow, knew that. During that discourse behind the shopping center, I recall Baggy asking us, "why do people act as though they do not see us". Trust me when I say this, that is a deep deep question.

Everything, could be summed up by that one question. Baggy knew exactly what it was like to be ignored, by the public. The authentic self says that "we need love like all the rest". Where, though, will that love come from. We, our little group, could only provide so much. There was an existential world out there that we had not choice but to be a part of. The problem arises as our path to freedom grows narrower. The higher you get up the ladder, the less you can see the world below. Sure, anyone can give charity, but few can give love. We lose our authentic self to the world in which we are imprisoned too. As the years pass by and we one day reflect, we notice that we became what we were surrounded by. Occasionally, as the opportunity presented itself, we would extent acts of kindness and charity. Those acts sparked an ember that gave us a warmth. That ember, however is quickly extinguished as we are reminded that we belong in this world, and they belong in theirs. Think about that for a minute.

Skip, responded to Baggy, with a comment I'll never forget. He said "love the people Bags, even when they do not know how to love you back. They are the one's who's heart is hiding the sadness that they can't escape from". He said one more thing that, until recently, I didn't quite get. He said "they (the beautiful people) deeply desire the freedom and love we have, over the high cost of confinement they have". WOW there is power in those words. I am not even sure Skip knew what he said, but years later those words illuminated something inside that made me desire to be real.

That didn't make sense to me then, but today, as I speak out and strive for authenticity of self, it becomes clear what the words of a street walking 14 year old meant. We were free from the pressures of the world, simply because our only goal was food, friendship, and survival. That bond, in it's innocence is so profound few will understand it. Think about all the chains that bind you to a fake pseudo self. Seriously, take an inventory of what blocks you from becoming the greatest version of yourself possible.

There are people reading this that have a dream yet to be lived, a book yet to be written, a marathon yet to be run. There are people reading this that are in love with a person they do not have, living a life they do not enjoy, working a job that is not fulfilling. There are people reading this that are begging to be real, yet struggle to find the means of which to do so. Skip was real, he was as gentle a person that I've ever met. He loved life, he loved his friends, he was real. With all the energy I can come up with, it is my dream to bring my authenticity to the surface, while helping others do the same. Now, more than ever, I want to be embrace the me no one sees.

Let me ask you something. What is the obstacle that is blocking your path to authenticity? I realize that this is a question that you will answer privately. Regardless, please at least make an attempt to open the door to the inner self that is clawing to get out. No don't allow yourself to be imprisoned by the irrationality of norms that do not align with your true belief. The only authentic freedom we all have is our ability to think, to be curious, to have dreams, and to have hope. When we lose those basic of human abilities we lose our desire for life. God does not and will not live your life for you. God did however give you a heart to love with, a mind to think with, and a soul to seek and unite with.

Skip, Baggy, even though 40 years have past, I still remember those wonderful discussions we had on the back side of the parking lot behind Lucky. I am A.L.I.V.E. today more so than anytime in my life, thanks to you guys.  I am learning how to be real, how to love, how to be a friend, and most of all how to accept everyone for the authentic being they strive to be.

PS, I have no idea what became of my friends, I honestly do not know their last names. At the time that wasn't important. We lived in the day for the day. We understood the power of love. We understood the freedom of authenticity, and we understood that a life where heart, mind, and soul lined up to express hopes and dreams was a life worth living
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God bless
Dale

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